Dating a Black Man

It is ironic that I had to go to the whitest town I have ever lived in to meet the Blackest man I’ve ever met. Yes, my African king is from the Motherland, what some may call a “freshie” but in my opinion, it’s just refreshing.

We are taught to hate what we fear, and we are taught to hate Black love. But we were not taught the truth by our oppressors. Black love, the love between two Black people, should be revered. It is a beautiful, sacred and important thing. Black love heals the nation, it brings us closer to our heritage and history and unifies the Black people. We cannot be strong as a people if we are fragmented off in the name of multiculturalism. 

If I had not opened myself up to the importance of Black love, which came later because I have been taught my Black brothers are inferior, I would have missed the opportunity to meet my king. But now I see that not only are Black brothers desirable and should be sought after, but that they should hold precedence over other races because Black love is natural. And an alienation from Black love means perhaps we need to do a bit more self-love and give a brother a chance as well.

  I’m not saying Black love is easy. It takes trust, dialogue and commitment to overcome the negative ideas associated with Black men and to relearn or learn how to have a healthy relationship with men of colour. What words should we use to describe and name each other? Words have power. We have to lift each other up and understand that despite the circumstances in our lives, we can work together to overcome them and solidify the bond between two Black people. 

As they say, once you go back Black, you never go back. Well I say, if it’s not Black love it’s tragic, because Black love is magic. And I’m not putting down interracial couples, I’m not. Listen, I come from the most diverse city in the world–Toronto. I get it. And if the one for you is from a different ethnicity, that is alright! But where once many sisters, tired of the playa playa act, turned to other cultures for marriage, respect and monogamy; I believe that we need to scrutinize what Black love really is, how powerful the potential of Black love is personally and collectively and build upon that. 

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